I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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