he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize