I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
