yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
