Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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