I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
