Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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