So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
