You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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