just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize