My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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