I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you have to choose: penises or morals?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
