fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
