is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
