how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I should be sponsored by Trojan
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
