Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
