don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
