just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
