I have demons in me.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
