How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
