Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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