and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
