carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize