Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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