Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
she woke up with a sticky ear
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
