i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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