Ketchup is God's man juice
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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