Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
