he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
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