so that wasnt chicken after all
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
