I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
