Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
