i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
this is an emotional support booty call
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
