I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
This baby is an asshole
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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