I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
