They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
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Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
