Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
