ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
