I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
