Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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