I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
