yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
