If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
