Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
