So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
