shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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