margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize