so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
