I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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