my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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