Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
