rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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