at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
