I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
