Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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