the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
