lets start a swedish sibling band together
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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